Chapter 15: Survival

Our entire existence is about survival. Nothing else matters, at least it's not supposed to matter. When we are raised, we are trained to follow all the rules. We learn about the reckoning when we are 12. It's another trip we take, to see the flame of continuance. It's beautiful and I think it was the first time (other than the sunset) where I have seen the color blue. We don't use it in clothing, it's pretty drab, our food is mostly yellow, orange, and green based on the plant used to make it, and everything is made out of steel and metal. Blue is not commonly seen and according to my research, on Earth blue is the rarest color in nature, not a lot of flowers or plants are blue, only the vast oceans and bodies of water are blue... but we don't have those. 

This flame has been burning since the beginning of our arrival on Mars and only goes out once a month when the reckoning is complete. It is relit after 3 days of mourning. It's a beautiful flame. Flames are not allowed in general on Mars, it can cause explosions. 

"This is the flame of continuance. It has burned since arriving here from Earth. It is a symbol of our persistence and ability to adapt to the harsh conditions this planet offers. Mans ability to survive began with fire and continues with this fire. The utilitarian principles we founded this colony on must remain intact or our society will collapse." 

This is the speech a docent always gives at the flame and in my memory, it was said with such excitement and zeal it felt unreal. Who could really believe this? We struggle every day. We live in these domes and tunnels with the faint metal and ozone smell surrounding us and we work. I get small joys when I get to walk through colony 3 and get to be with the plants, or when Edgar shows me what a flower smells like. As a child I knew none of this. I learned math and science. I learned about how we have no atmosphere and why we can't waste time on pets, or plants that don't feed us. 

When Edgar showed me his secret space in the greenhouses, I was shocked. I had no idea. The room was lit up with bioluminescent plants, a secret room glowing in blue. 

"Do you like it?" he asked. His green eyes lighting up with joy. "I've had it since I was a boy. My father taught me about graphing trees and pollinating different plants. My grandfather brought all sorts of seeds he wasn't supposed to have. As long as they stay in deep freeze, they stay good until someone uses them."

I was bewildered. It was magical. 

"Edgar, this place is amazing. How do you make them glow? and what are these flowers? They are beautiful." 

He reached over into a cupboard and pulled on a little bottle. It had a flower in it. 

"Many of them are grown illegally. These are things they don't want us to have. "Beauty for Beauties' sake"." 

The smell is what I really noticed. I had never smelled anything so fragrant. 

"These are peonies. These are Oleander. These are Plumeria, almost Impossible to keep alive here, but we managed some of them. They are my favorite. They were so plentiful on earth in this place called Hawaii people literally wore them around their necks."

I thought about it for a minute. Theres a lot I didn't know about Edgar. He was risking his life to keep these exotic plants alive. For smells. 

I finally looked at the little flower vile he handed me. 

"Open it." 

I did. The smell was enchanting. I've heard about these things. They trade them on the black market. Smells of what earth was like. 

"I call this one, forget me not" he said. Looking at me intensely. "I think about Earth. How we don't belong here and all the small wonders and happinesses of being alive that we miss being humans. That's when I started trading these for parts for this." 

And then Edgar uncovered it. A really old commuter ship. They used to be in commission until about 10 years ago. It was more common for people to go back and forth between Earth and Mars.  

Edgar and I looked at it. Then at each other. I then realized we could leave. Well, he could leave. But maybe he'd take me with him. Something burned inside me to escape this horrible place. Something kept nagging at me about our society and humanity. How it always longed to keep moving. 

And this flame. That must always be lit and never go out. Just like humanity. We must stay alive and in balance or the world we've developed will die with humanity, but I don't think I'm the one who can keep it going. 

"I have another thing I'd like to show you, but it's at my house and not as big as, well, this," he gestured to the ship. 

I knew this was something I couldn't miss.