Dr. Lara Helix - Uniquely Martian Questions

 Dr. Helix, 

Is it wrong I am afraid to give birth here? 

Everyone says I'm making history and creating the world. 

I just want to make it through labor long enough to see my child be born. 

-fearful Frieda 

Dear Frieda, 

It is possible to have all of it. Fear is a very natural feeling and it's only human to have it. You are changing the world. You are making history and with your care team you will make it through delivery. 

Take a breath. Realize we are all here for you and your baby. You are surrounded by a community of people who care about you and have studied all the possible pitfalls of life on Mars. 

It would be easy to say "don't be afraid" but it's easier to acknowledge the fear and get to the root of it. You can do this. 

It's why we are here. 

Also, unless your husband has suggested "Rover" as the child's name, you might be better off than you think. (Yes, this was an actual question from another person). 

XO

Dear Dr. Helix

I would like birthday candles on my cake. I saw them on Earth. My mom says the dome will explode. How can I get this? 

Candace Candles 

Dearest Candance,

Because you are only 5 and probably do not remember the incident that occurred when we first arrived, I will remind you. Somone lit a candle was injured. Mars is not a good place for fire. Also, the burning from candles uses oxygen we need to breathe. See if your mom and dad have some LED lights and you can put those on your cake. You will be surprised the kind of magic we can make with those.  

XO

Dr. Helix, 

I love my partner, but I feel like the space here is too cramped. Honestly, we are constantly on top of each other and not in a good way. How can we make small spaces work for us without going insane? I don't think there is enough public spaces offering a little privacy. I can't constantly be around people. Sometimes I miss the wide spaces we had on Earth, the big houses, but then I remember the waste and the polluted air, but it still drives me nuts to have this other person (whom I really do love) constantly in my space. How can we make this better? 

Spacey Stacy 

Stacey, 

The spaces are small and I'd be a liar if I told you I hadn't had the same (Or similar) issue. Having our second child in our tiny space has felt smaller and smaller. I never imagined it would feel like this. It's almost suffocatingly small sometimes. Two bedrooms is a large apartment here, so I'm grateful for the space I do have and in no way is this meant to minimize your experience. I want you to know I understand, I think in large part we probably all do. 

My husband and I have started picking up extra volunteer shifts in Dome 3. The plants have helped us a lot. We transplant plants, put in seeds, harvest fruit, run errands for the Metzger's (taking the harvest to Martian and delivering seeds for people who are growing their own plants).  This has allowed us, "outside time". Dome three feels like the most outside a person can be here. 

Martian's Cafe is growing a really interesting tree inside of it. This is also a really great place to sit and think. 

There are also other tasks which can occupy your time and make some "space" without other people. 

The rovers are always looking for people to train to go outside the dome and clean off the solar panels. I realize this has been used as a punishment, but I recently tried it myself. It's very cathartic. All you can hear is the wind whipping around you and the radio occasionally beeping or someone talking in it. For the most part though, no one talks. Emergency and important communications only. 

One other thing you might try is applying for a new space, if your space doesn't have a window, it would feel extremely cramped. New spaces are being built currently, and they will be for the people who are already here, so it may be an opportunity to find a new place. 

The last bit of advice I have for you: have you discussed this with your partner? They might be feeling the same way, and it might help clear the air and make space for you both emotionally. 

XO

Dr. Helix, 

I'm finding the longer we've been here the less I care about Earth. The other day my sister called and there is a 3-minute delay in communication, I got her message and didn't think much, I forgot to respond, that was two weeks ago. She contacted again to make sure everything is OK, usually I have been faster to respond, but I've been so busy with the new dome construction and putting in extra hours with the new tunnels that I just didn't think about it. She says I have forgotten Earth and the people who live there and she feels hurt. 

I feel like a neglectful sister, but I also feel more connected to this planet and this place because we are literally establishing a working society. Also, I am finding, I just don't care. My priorities are here and I hate the delay waiting for responses. 

Should I feel bad about this? 

Neglectful Nancy 

Nancy, 

The delay annoys everyone and honestly, you have your own life here. You are not responsible for your sister's feelings. Should, is a loaded word. What we should and shouldn't do is largely objective. Your sister probably thinks you should feel bad, whereas I do not agree with this. 

You are helping to build a new society. You are kind of busy. This is your home now and there is no shame in focusing on your new home and your people. 

Also, we had a two-week black out while the sun was between us and Earth, which is probably why you forgot and didn't send a message. Even if you had she would've had to wait two weeks. 

Relax, take a breath, and do what you need to do. 

It's ok. 

XO